“We must…be willing to give our children the best we can find within ourselves.”
James D. MacArthur
As a dad of three children, I find it very helpful to occasionally read books that will help me be a better parent—and this book is a great one to read. And although being a parent can be stressful and challenging, I have found that it can also be extremely rewarding. Thus, I believe taking the time to read good parenting books is extremely important and always worth the effort for all parents as we try to improve.
In his book Everyday Parents Raising Great Kids, author James D. MacArthur provides many helpful insights and ideas on not only how we can be more effective parents but also on how we can enjoy parenting more. At the heart of the book is a series of self-assessments that help us honestly answer the question, “what type of influence am I being on my family?” Through constant self-evaluation and communication, the author argues that we can truly become the parents we long to be for our children and we can truly have the type of family we long to have in our lives.
The core message of this book is that having a great family takes work. Unfortunately, there are no easy shortcuts or magic formulas. Like all things in life, raising a family takes a considerable amount of dedication, commitment, planning, evaluation, and time in order to be successful. Great families do not just happen accidentally! The author calls this effort “intentional parenting” meaning we take time to deliberately plan and parent our children rather than leaving it up to chance. The author offers several ways we can do this from establishing a family plan to regularly holding “Family Discussion Times” where we openly talk about family issues. In the end, the author strongly encourages us to “seek an A grade in trying” as effort is the key to ultimate family-life success.
Another important message from this book is that we need measurements to be successful. Without constant and frequent evaluation and measuring, how will we know if we are making progress? Assessing our behavior and performance in our family and making goals to improve is essential for families that want to reach their potential in experiencing the maximum amount of happiness in their home.
In the book we also learn that we must make our family a high priority in our lives. In fact, the author states it should be our highest priority above education, career, hobbies, community service, and any other personal pursuits. The author encourages parents to realize the importance of their influence on their children and states that those who fail to take their parental responsibilities seriously will one day live to seriously regret it. Realizing that happiness can come from contributing and belonging to a successful family will help us to put our family first in our lives.
Finally, throughout the book the author offers plenty of encouragement for parents reminding us that there is always hope even if we or our families are not perfect. Having a great family is a journey and not necessarily a destination—and this book emphasizes that we may never get to where we hope to be as a family and that this is ok. The most important thing is that we are continually trying and making progress. Therefore, each parent should strive to take responsibility for things that are within their control and not worry about things that may be out of their control. For example, as parents we are responsible for how we lead and how we act towards our family members however we cannot control how our family chooses to react to our offerings. Thus, no matter what happens in life, we as parents should always care deeply about our family members, but we do not need to feel completely responsible for them.
Everyday Parents Raising Great Kids is an excellent read for all parents as it will cause you to truly reflect on family life and motivate you to be a better parent. Through great insights, stories, and practical applications of many family ideas, this book will influence you to increase your efforts and commitment to your family responsibilities while enjoying your family-life much more.